Paper boat.

 

I promised
I'd have given myself another chance.
I swear
I'm not into, try to balance
the leak.
I fall apart with the second glance
and I know,
all I can argue makes just no sense.

I miss you so and can't control my mess,
pay attention - or the world shall do it for you;
I am so smooth in words, so tough in threats,
so tiny in your heart so weighty in your mind.

I count
my ribs as I count back the days
I've been feeling
like a paper boat prone to sinking
in the ocean;
"...must be the Spring", that night I said,
but Summer came
and our edges stopped linking.

It hurts so much but I found the way
to get through this, guess what's the news?
The vilest way to anesthetize the pain:
when I lose my youth, you also lose.

I stomach your fear so nude,
your game tastes raw and rude
but She seems to overwhelm
when joy expires its term.

This blank's so evil to feel,
the one you created - and deny to fill,
inside your mind turned into weighty,
inside your heart now I'm so tiny.

And I
just want
to disappear.