5 dic 2014

Indifferenza.



E' un peso costante
che mi blocca alla gola;
una tenaglia insidiosa,
e il tempo precipita - vola,

e non accetto e non comprendo,
e non comprendo ciò che stride
con ciò che ancora sento.
Piove fuori e piove dentro,

ma non accetto se non comprendo,
la voragine s'allarga,
la mia espressione parca
annichilisce il senso.

Da un po' di tempo
ogni fiamma muore
come rapida si accende;
nelle mie pupille umide
sei l'acqua che spegne.

25 ott 2014

L'incubo.

 
Il silenzio
eleva il contrasto
tra desiderio e soggezione;
non una parola
osa l'intrusione
nell'eterno di un'ora sola.

Silenzio,
pesante ed infinito.
Il tuo sguardo richiede
le risposte che non hai,
ma la testa non vede
ciò che in cuor tuo sai.

Silenzio
di uno spazio bianco, vuoto:
vorrei morire, poter fuggire
da una gabbia senza grate,
due sedie da riempire 
e due anime straziate

di fronte,
sedute ed immobili,
che attendono tremanti
un boato assordante,
il dipanarsi degli eventi
negli occhi neri ed assenti. 

Bianca,
e vuota la stanza,
come l'amor proprio cancella
ogni traccia di violenza
e impietoso modella 
di nuovo il percorso

trascorso. 
L'ansia bacia il rimorso,
- io colpisco il guanciale.

In un attimo lungo un'ora
ogni nobile intenzione 
è riuscita a farci male.

15 ott 2014

Il filo rosso.




Non sei tu e non sono io,
 ma involucri stretti
in territorio ostico;

il continuo tumulto
nel silenzio dei sogni
è sottile pronostico.

14 ott 2014

Ciò che resta.


Satura di ogni pensiero,
l'aria diventa pesante.
Il crepuscolo
avvolge ogni istante - e lo disfa
e lo contorce, e piega
ogni mio muscolo,
dove ogni battito
intenso risuona, insistente.
Il passato ovatta il presente.

Ma mi distraggo facilmente,
e lascio aperta la porta
al ricordo;
l'anima assorta - contempla
la pelle, le mura arse dal fuoco,
senza pace 
e nessuna pietà.
Attendere come, attendere cosa,
se ogni spina vuole la sua rosa...

Soffoco le grida,
ogni immagine è una sfida.
Lasciarla correre, e non capire
questo bisogno di appassire.

Nel tuo nome, io adagio
la pienezza e il sacrilegio;
la bocca brucia ma la mente addolcisce
se il tuo cuore non esperisce.

20 set 2014

Heritage.




There's more than a tiny crumb
of my past inside your eyes,
very careful not to see too much
yet they get aware every time.

You tried your best not to feel any hatred
you'd feel so wicked to admit your disdain;
my chronical guilt is clear heritage
but you see, that's what leads me astray.

 One illusion is enough,
two worlds broken are too much.
so this dinner is speechless,
I sigh and I cough
while you ask about my lunch.
You know my heart ain't stainless.

There was a time when I nearly believed 
and there was a day when I saw you relieved,
but my dignity of a woman has been destroyed.
Am I still a woman  if my pulse's concealed?

Yet I love you so,
tho' you never taught me 
that I should love myself
despite of it all.

17 set 2014

Strong and Empty,



If you could see what you did of your skin
turned into steel just to shield yourself...
Your forced laughter sounds wild and grim,
every bowel twines,
every time.

Everytime you bury - it's me buried,
everytime you rise  it's me crushed
with all the past that's been denied,
and my hunger rests,
the mind rejects.

We hate as well as we have loved;
now you're a stranger to me,
but the wound is open

a whizzing raven's just killed a dove,
there's no more glee,
little buds forever broken.

So it's always others' fault
when you limit your own view.
Do you need to be so valued
by the ignorance of your crew?
You could notice my quandary,
protruding veins and tired look,
yet not less serious than your deficiencies
and the tenderness my absence took.


1 ago 2014

Bracelet.



It was the triumph of a wearing race;
it's the perfection I cannot replace.
It is the blunder that makes me sick,
and it is a wall built brick by brick.

The mask of silence covers the shame,
and you find just your choice to blame.
I don't want you to behold my spine,
'cause you clearly forgot what lived behind.

Like prison bars,
my chest is showing inside
the Criminal and all Its scars.

Pulse slows down
as little by little beating rests,
and devotion has flown

away. I leave this memory
to the heart of the stream,
where the water keeps on dancing
and my ankles halted lean.

2 lug 2014

Cyanotic.




Do not try to comprehend,
my dearest Friend - this is the Hell.
All my bruises swell.

I tamed the fire with ice,
my vice. I breath because
the grief withdraws.

On this awkward stage
I cannot play my rage.
Etereal outlines - 
two-faced butterflies

round off my clavicle
and restart the cycle;
chop off any thorn
from my core forlorn.

And I shudder with disgust:
what have I done to myself
to make this mirror my must...

Constantly cold and blue,
I reach out my dazed hand.
Of the way back I have no clue.

28 giu 2014

Inside your love.


 

Sunshine sparkles in your eye
looking for any small detail;
you catch, think out and emit,
mess up my rules a little bit.

You refuse with all your nerve -
I wear my frown and you observe,
then embrace my leg and lay
your ruffled hair; what can I say...
 
You're my little Mirror of Truth,
my wisdom and my lost youth,
only give what you are given,
place yourself where you're driven.

So I get on my scrawny knees,
"Don't be sad my baby, please"
Put my hands on your pouting face,
find the solace in your embrace.

Sunshine sparkles in your heart
when you wake me up if I'm apart,
holding my hands like you were me,
Goddess incarnate, you're just three.

Children are the light of the world,
and they can't explain - but they unfold;
precious stones embedded inside
pushing strong grievance aside.

Paper boat.

 


I promised
I'd have given myself another chance.
I swear
I'm not into, try to balance
the leak.
I fall apart with the second glance
and I know,
all I can argue makes just no sense.

I miss you so and can't control my mess,
pay attention - or the world shall do it for you;
I am so smooth in words, so tough in threats,
so tiny in your heart so weighty in your mind.

I count
my ribs as I count back the days
I've been feeling
like a paper boat prone to sinking
in the ocean;
"...must be the Spring", that night I said,
but Summer came
and our edges stopped linking.

It hurts so much but I found the way
to get through this, guess what's the news?
The vilest way to anesthetize the pain:
when I lose my youth, you also lose.

I stomach your fear so nude,
your game tastes raw and rude
but She seems to overwhelm
when joy expires its term.

This blank's so evil to feel,
the one you created - and deny to fill,
inside your mind turned into weighty,
inside your heart now I'm so tiny.

And I
just want
to disappear.

27 giu 2014

Digest.





As I get thinner
inside yourself;

as our picture loses
its importance,
little by little
fades;

as you close the gates
of your empathy

and you implore
for my health
to digest your guilt,

my dear,
I can just love or hate.
There is no grey,
this is what you say.

If you can't contemplate
this puny figure,
please tolerate.

9 giu 2014

Omen.



The voice suspended by momentary blaze
I fall silent - you dare,
and fingers make claim within hungry gazes.
You hurt - I stare

at your sincere eyes and mouth
ajar and confused,
your tongue - knotted to my words.

I wish nothing more than this moment,
I take - you overflow.
Our mutual past has never been so present,
you scratch my arms - I know,

now your hidden lacunas get into my bowels,
I feed and you fill me completely
as our limbs entwined merge
we've learnt through pain, now through complicity.

We are alchemy
we are the echoes of stars
we are destiny
we are perfect bizarre
and I'm gonna miss it,

soon
I'm gonna miss us.

6 giu 2014

Exile.



A prince exiled from his reign,
my heart has no wisdom
without its freedom,
and sentiment wanders now with resentment;
it's hard again to conceal
aware of my will.

This executor took aim to my lungs,
shot many times, amuck.
Breath is stuck.
I'm plugging holes with raw sugar,
licking my fingers - it tastes good,
it tastes like blood.

My mother once told me
not to take candies from a stranger,
I never considered
they could ache my liver.

Great words and caresses
softened the harshness,
took me in a long blind alley
where my peace has been raped.

1 giu 2014

Hiss

The shadows of your words
accompany me in my way back home;
the melancholy of a moment
carries inside everything I would have done,
we keep on acting, and switching, and we are so alone.

In the mist we catch ourselves
and we should get closer to get our lips so dried,
stuck - hissing for help,
the self destruction hidden in a shell
brought by the wave of our repressed needs.

Fill your holes with my fingers
exploring your old shots untreated.
We've lost the sense of living
and I'm gonna kill you to make you live again,
when pain is a bliss for who's anaesthetized.

When feeling too much
is just like feeling nothing,
I would pay the highest price
to be able to feel again. 


(December 2013)

December.



I drive through this fog, so thick and grey,
cutting it like I used tu cut myself;
I stop and my head I lay,
my tired head with a tired brain
and tired arms and tired heart.

Flashes of memories sparkling in the night,
driving towards you, they are my guide
like stars; I can't help loving
- this is my defence, this is my defeat
and as he breaks my soul, I fall to your feet.

My secret carved into my eyes
that close not to see the world we're into
made of lies - is this life?
As long as you don't know, he doesn't;
as long as I don't speak, you don't.

A perfect equilibrium made of nothing
and no one speaks - but everything hurts.

My nature screams,
prisoner in a cage made of gold
don't find this treasure
-I know you know-
and shatter these pearls in the fog so cold.

A slave for our fears
I have become.


December 2013

22 mag 2014

Solitude.




My lifeless eyes have to much to say,
there's a black hole
in the bed I lay;
the hope consumes - the hope is a guide
I stand on my feet,
never apologize.

And solitude is a beast that eats
the echoes loud
of tired breaths;
you can stay there - you can just go
but inside of me
now I feel alone.

'Cause my cold hands need to hold
'cause I feel my needs
have been sold
to buy freedom - a piece of joy
it takes so little
so little to destroy.

Unstable like wind, I should rest
the expectations
in my humble chest.
Solitude is such a beast well known,
I need your troubles
to face it alone.

Porcelain.



Oh, monster of my reproach,
you scream inside so squeaky
like sharpened nails on my jaded back
you injure my pride so sneaky.

A role reversal I can't tolerate
here in my bed turned into sea;
I am the Priestess, so cozy and alone,
a porcelain whore with a heart fulfilled.

The initiation for the thristy minds
I gave water to, emptying my pitcher
and like water I adapt to everything
and everyone who makes me differ.

I bit my lips until the blood pours out
to prove that it's just another nightmare,
the wheel that turns again too fast...
afraid to disperse, I refuse to share.

17 mag 2014

Nice to meet you.



In the misty forest I found a fount;
my endearing wolf,
would you be less polite?

I guess I'm the one you're about to haunt,
cool down my neck before you came,
got no escape tonight.

My red mantle is your velvet carpet,
a warm bloodstain on my back,
and my enticing wolf,
would you be so kind?
I just lost my path -
if I don't follow, I won't find.

We've been waiting in deafening silence
avoiding a touch, licking our hack,
both alone running parallel.
Now I'm stuck in your cave 
we're playing with fire,
you know - I wanted it too
and every wheeze is a clue...

Oh nice - very nice to meet you! 




Seed.



Shelter in my veins,
you wounldn't mind the rain;
you flow into so clear,
you make me feel serene.

The night is a lullaby
and seclusion is passing by,
we're a gift to this world,
we'll warm up what is cold.

You got me to love myself,
this time I won't pretend;
put the seed of a new vision
to make concrete every decision.


11 mag 2014

Cuddle.



Take me where I haven't been before,
but never drag me;
cuddle my fears immured in the core,
but don't deny me

with all my broken pieces
and every attempt to stick them.

Ask me all you need to know,
just trust on our perfection;
show me all that you need to show,
never dissacrate the intention,

what we can build - what we could reach;
use some violence delicately.

I'm here - nowhere else I could be;
uncover me, but do it softly.

Delight.




Far away from the promised land
I dig holes so deep inside my chest
to find a reason
for being happily caged,
and I've been so stupid,
and now I crave but I am afraid...

Can't help probing your beautiful eyes:
I lost my freedom in ages, there I see it;
it's a delicate warmth,
makes my senses grow.
I'd throw myself in your arms
taking back the protection I gave.

You dear breath curls this sadness
so it becomes mountains, flowers and water
and freshness, and I dance like a feather
falling gently until it finds its soil.

Carried by the power of the oncoming Spring
all my centres open to your delight,
there is no sin for the prisoner heart
who desperately tries to break the grate.

7 mag 2014

Pandora


All this time acting without a scene,
mourning for the death of my life
made me suffer and made me tremble
in silence, out of sight,

and all this time I loved unseen
every word you said and every knife
cutting my heart in crumbles
in silence; every night

was a precious diamond that I kept jealous
in my half closed hands, on my chest,
you were so dear to me and you didn't know.

Though other eyes have been sospicious
I've been denying without a rest,
now the dice has rolled, I let things grow

So the vase has been opened,
my chaos exploded and its light
has no direction - my beat is my guide,
and you touch my skin and I'm absorbed
I can't return not to make any mistake
I can't give more for your sake

'cause my need to love, by now, would kill
all your need to be worth of happiness,
I promised myself I'll protect your kindness
from the injuries beyond my will.

Just hold my hands now
warm them again because they're frozen,
for too long they haven't given
for too long I haven't shown;

Time will reveal what's hidden;
I'm learning to love myself
through my simple, tender love for you,
and through your caring affection -
this is the best that you can do.